Reclaiming Our Power Rituals — Not Resolutions
Whew! This year has been complex and tumultuous — especially if you identify as a woman. On a global and personal scale, we’ve celebrated important victories but also weathered many defeats in our quest for equity, mobility and individual sovereignty.
Throughout 2022, we watched the overturn of Roe vs. Wade, the persecution and murder of our trans sisters, and the brutal fight in Iran for women’s agency and autonomy. But we also saw some important milestones. This year, Ketanji Brown Jackson became the first Black woman to hold the office of Supreme Court Justice, and we saw a record high number of women run for political office. Yes, we are living through harsh and historic moments; but with Time naming the Women of Iran heroes of the year, the world is beginning to realize our power in initiating universal change.
The work is real. And I’m sure I don’t have to tell y’all — as we attempt to return to the status quo, we are being called on every frontier. There is justice to seek, leadership to step into, seeds of healing to plant and nourish; but how, when and where do we begin to do it on our terms?
Instead of asking how your 2022 facilitated change or how your 2023 will facilitate healing, I want to ask you about the power that lies between your sunrise and your sunset. More specifically, I want to talk about your rituals, and how they can function as a vehicle for sacred embodiment healing and change.
Are You Hiding In Plain Sight?
Recently, I had the honor of gathering with a community of incredible, visionary change makers and leaders. To begin the meeting, I opened with a brief ritual, believing that their top priority would be to cut to the chase and dive into their professional challenges. However, after two hours, we were still rooted to the rug. The sacred space, created communally, allowed the women to be courageously vulnerable. In particular, many women were vocal about the lack of permission to spend any time on a sacred practice like the one we were participating in.
As women, we often show up in environments tucking vital aspects of ourselves out of view. We haven’t felt entitled to express them authentically because we haven’t felt the permission to just BE who we really are. Which includes activating the natural aspects of our intelligence, like our empathy or intuition, when we need them most. For women of color, many of us additionally believe that we can’t call on aspects of our cultural lineage and power. We are told that these inherent powers have no place in a professional context or patriarchal system. We are taught that “professionalism” equals disconnecting from the very qualities that make us strong.
We mold ourselves to fit a role that asks us to show up with parts missing. And, as a result, we enter rooms at a deficit, because we’re too worried and distracted to really bring our magic. We wonder if our shirt is too bright for the corporate space, or perhaps our email wasn’t polite enough. For women of color, we often enter situations where we’re the only ones that look like us at the table and in those moments, we can become acutely wary about the perception of every action we take. This, in turn, continuously disrupts our flow and diminishes the full potential of our contribution.
How Can You Prioritize Rituals for Personal and Collective Growth?
One of the greatest things we can do to grow our power and influence is to prioritize our own personal rituals. When we do the things that have meaning to us consistently, we grow our capacity to show up as our full selves. When I’m interviewed, I’m often asked about my own daily practices. For decades, I’ve participated in and created rituals that give life to everything I want to do, be, and experience in this world. When I work with leaders at all levels, I help them create new rituals and build new habits that invite their full power to the table.
Rituals draw on ancient power reclaimed in a modern context, daily practices that keep us grounded and clear. They bring us into alignment with our deepest truths and our highest gifts. They invite inspiration and imagination while activating our greater wisdom. Most importantly, they protect us. Yep — from the bullshit! :)
Rituals are also limitless, you can create a ritual for literally anything.
Below are some of my favorites for taking back your power.
Rituals to Reclaim your Power
- Ancestral Rituals - Ancestral rituals are active practices that connect us to those who have come before us — their knowledge, character, and the history of our lineage. When we reclaim our history and our bloodline, we reclaim our power. An ancestral ritual may be as robust as creating a dedicated altar, or as simple as a prayer for advice and guidance in an important meeting.
What I do:
Ancestral Images — I have a dedicated area where I keep the images of ancestors whose wisdom I often call on. Some of them are in my bloodline, and some of them are historical pioneers whose legacies and work are integral to mine. Each day I spend just 1–2 minutes connecting with those images. If I have a specific question, I pose it. Sometimes I just connect, breathe, and call in their courage or intelligence as I prepare for a big meeting.
- Grounding Rituals - Might be dancing, singing, meditating, participating in play — anything that gets you grounded in your own internal vibration. Grounding rituals get us in our physical body, and help us tap into the power of the mind/body connection. After we participate in a grounding ceremony, we usually feel more confident and authentic as we walk out into the world.
What I do:
Time in Nature — Walking is my thing right now — feeling the earth underneath my feet, feeling the sun on my face, looking at the beauty of the plants and trees while I move and breathe. All of these connect me to the present moment. Sometimes I have sacred wisdom playing in my ears or I just relish the natural sounds. All serve to center me in the here and now.
- Preparation Rituals - Preparation rituals are any ritual you engage in order to get ready for an event. This can be mental, physical, or both. For many women, this can be as simple as getting ready in the morning before you go to work. It might look like stating affirmations as you don your daily make-up, or listening to empowering music for 15 minutes before you give an important presentation.
What I do:
I Pray & Play My Song! — Sometimes I run a sacred bath or I might smudge with frankincense and myrrh as a way to open my heart and welcome in the divine. I ask to be a vessel and for the message or guidance to move through me. Then I play my favorite song.
- Protection Rituals - Protection rituals are created to guard our peace, our power, and our presence. For some of us, it can be repeating and reaffirming boundaries aloud to ourselves. For others, it can look like having an elder or trusted loved one braid your hair while thinking protective thoughts before you leave. These rituals are designed to support being a good steward of your energy, your peace of mind, and your wealth of spirit.
What I do:
I Burn + Adorn — I have certain things I wear that carry a particular vibration or history. They serve as reminders of who is with me and who is my ultimate authority. I smudge to cleanse and purify my own vibration then I add these garments, jewelry or other items onto my body. I take a moment to feel the weight of their presence — to connect my energy to their energy. Finally, I chant a sacred mantra or prayer that “covers me”.
Rituals — Not Resolutions
As we develop our own authentic rituals, we must also encourage ourselves to stand by them. If they give you greater vibrancy — see them as your daily vitamins.
I always say I don’t make resolutions, I engage in rituals that welcome in the vision for my new year. Every year my company gathers as a community of practice to welcome in a new mantra we call our “New Year’s Message”. Throughout the year we observe this mantra as a context for supporting everything we want to achieve.
Progress is made up of the small decisions we make day by day, and it’s readily available at any moment. We can always touch the energy of our greatest aspirations through what we practice. Whether your ritual is to come up with a single word or theme for the year, or to craft a mantra you repeat over and over — play with the idea of rituals this year and affirm that you will bring more of your power and presence to everything you do in 2023 and beyond.
Happy New Year, Beloveds.
With Love,
Rha
